The worst markets test even the best advisor-client relationships. The pain is real—even when it has no immediate effect on a client's daily life. For many investors, emotion can easily overwhelm reason; in difficult times, the advisor's wise counsel about reasonable expectations can fall on deaf ears.

If clients are to benefit from their relationship with you, the advisor, one of your major roles is to help them become more resilient—better equipped to ride the emotional roller coaster of market turmoil. Some advisors might question whether this is their role or wonder if they have the expertise to do it. We believe that if you understand the attributes of resilient people, you will realize you have the knowledge to reinforce these qualities in your clients.

Resilience involves several key capabilities: the ability to deal effectively with stress, to bounce back from adversity and to adopt a proactive rather than a reactive stance. Resilient people maintain a realistic sense of optimism and avoid catastrophic thinking, which often triggers panic and impulsive behavior.

Another dominant characteristic of resilient individuals is a feeling of personal control. They focus their time and energy on things they have some influence over and don't keep trying to alter situations that are beyond their control.

Resilient individuals display confidence in their ability to identify and solve problems. They think before they act and consider different options for managing challenges. They select the option they believe will most likely lead to success, but are prepared to change course if necessary.

How can you promote resilience in clients? You must show your clients that you genuinely care about them. Certainly, clients want to feel confident that you possess the financial knowledge to advise them. But clients don't care what you know until they are certain you care.In addition to demonstrating professional acumen, you should also act in a manner that expresses your concern. For instance:

• Convey to your clients that they should not hesitate to contact you and respond to inquiries in a timely manner.
• Display patience when speaking and be available to answer questions.
• Listen closely and validate concerns, and show interest by asking about their families.

Coping Styles

Step two is to learn how your clients deal with stress. Some clients do this more positively than others. To discover a client's coping style, explain what you need to know—and why. Taking the current environment as a perfect backdrop, for example, you could ask prospective new and existing clients, how they reacted to any recent loss of portfolio value.

In more than two decades of experience—one of us is a psychologist, the other a financial advisor—we have observed myriad coping strategies. For the sake of clarity, we have created three profiles: the Dragon, the Ostrich and the Owl. For each, we offer an approach that will put the client at ease, communicate that you care, and set the client on the road to resilience.

Enter the Dragon

The Dragon blames you for the sharp decline in his portfolio value. He—or she—is angry. Some Dragons won't express their anger verbally; they'll brood about how angry they are. Often, Dragons' anger masks feelings of anxiety and vulnerability. Rather than acknowledge their worries, they lash out. They believe their anger is justified, especially since they aren't aware of their own underlying fears. While it may be easy to ignore a Dragon, you do so at the risk of increasing his or her anger and frustration.

Your response: Your knowledge of the Dragon's reaction to stress may help you have a fruitful conversation that reduces anger and strengthens feelings of collaboration, ownership and resilience. The discussion might go like this:
"Although we have structured your investments for the long term, the situation right now is pretty upsetting. It's natural at times for us to have differences of opinion on how to proceed, but it's important for us to work together, so that you feel actively involved in and comfortable with any decisions we make." This statement helps lessen the tendency to blame someone (namely. you) for the state of the market.

The Absent Ostrich

Ostriches try to ignore everything going on around them. They probably haven't opened any statements in months, no longer read the business section of the newspaper and can't stand to watch CNBC. They won't call their advisors to discuss the market or their accounts. In a paradoxical way, they maintain a sense of control through denial and ignorance.