No-Load Girl Scout Cookies?

A Morningstar analyst has a clever take on that old reliable treat bearer, the Girl Scout cookie seller and her relationship to mutual funds.

His muse was colleague Langdon Healy’s seven-year-old daughter who, when she knocked on doors, cleverly pitched her boxes of thin mints for "four for $20" rather than "one for $5."

So the analyst, Gregg Wolper, decided to imagine a world in which Girl Scout cookies were peddled like mutual funds. "It’s a scary thought," he wrote.

His hypothetical situation has a Girl Scout ringing a doorbell, and telling the customer that if he buys a "Box A" type of peanut butter cookie, it will cost him $4. But if the decision is made to buy a "Box B" type, it will cost him nothing now, and nothing when the box is delivered.

But the caveat is that if he eats Box B too fast, he will have to pay. The price is $4 if consumed by the first week, $3 if consumed by the second week, etc. But then, the issue of fees is brought up. The Girl Scout takes out a card, and says that for a "B" Box, she gets a quarter a week.

Wolper goes on, to the point where the customer wants to buy a "Z" box. The Girl Scout tells him that although they only cost $1, she can only sell those boxes to institutional clients.

His nightmare ends with the door slamming.
For reprint and licensing requests for this article, click here.
Money Management Executive
MORE FROM FINANCIAL PLANNING