If you’ve built a productive advisory practice, you know that the single most important resource for prospective clients is your existing book of clients. For the vast majority of advisors, referrals from satisfied investors represent the primary source of growth and new revenue. In fact, an entire consulting industry has grown up in response to this question: how can I get more clients to refer friends, family members and acquaintances to my business?

Unfortunately, many books and consultants who advise on the best strategies to do this actually harm more than help. There are some very powerful psychological dynamics—mostly significantly misunderstood—that influence when and why a client makes a referral. There are many hidden issues potentially at stake when an advisor asks for a referral. Navigating these conversations well first and foremost means taking steps to preserve the existing relationship. In fact, it is my opinion from working with hundreds of successful advisors over the past 20 years that you should never ask an existing client for a referral.

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